Tag Archives: family

10 Things

Today I was browsing through a friend’s fabulous second hand lifestyle blog and I came across her little tribute to Ten Things I Hate About You. Which I have now decided to appropriate for myself, as I am a fan of lists! This one was ten about her, I have kept her sentence starters because I quite liked them.

  1. Collecting Perth Wildcats memorabilia, Audrey Hepburn memorabilia and my newest one is scarves. Started as a necessity for what I thought would be my new job but now is just a bunch of scarves.
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  2. Wishing for some fun time with my number one. Tonight is their first night off in more than a week and they want a night to themselves (being a very individual, independent person). However since I so rarely get to see them I am struggling to keep myself from sending them twenty “what are you up to,” “how is your night,” “wanna hang out” messages. Sigh.
  3. Feeling antsy for some reason. It’s been a tiring and emotional week and my sleep schedule is so out of whack that I no longer know when I am actually tired or not.
  4. Watching season one of Friends. Funniest show of all time!!
  5. Smiling whenever my dad tells me to, even in text. This goes back to my child modelling days when I was taught smile number one (big smile with teeth) and smile number two (little smile, no teeth). My whole life whenever I have been upset or angry my dad will ask me to show him “number one” and no matter how old I am (as in how old I was last week when I called him upset about something. Also on Monday when I sent him a message saying “No job L” and he replied with “No worries SMILE, and think of the positives LOVE YOU!!” I smiled even though I was crying at he time) it makes me smile. Without fail. Gosh my dad is pretty amazing.
  6. Thinking that I really wanna see my number one, that I should have saved half my Turkish bread and fish melt for later instead of having it all for dinner, and that I should really clean up my room.
  7. Recently enjoyed how many gripes I have with episode two of the new season of Game of Thrones as a fan of the book series. For example, when Brienne and Cersei were chatting this is what was happening in my head: “WTF BRIENNE ALWAYS LOVES RENLY NOT JAMIE YOU TWAT! SHE IS LOYAL AND TRUE TO HER WORD BECAUSE SHE HAS A KNIGHT’S HONOUR AND FOLLOWS THROUGH ON HER PROMISES TO EVERYONE, NOT BECAUSE SHE WANTS JAMIE IN HER BREECHES! ARGH!!
  8. Totally Addicted to bass? It’s okay if you don’t get the reference, I listen to some obscure music sometimes. Probably more TV show and books, to the detriment of almost two university degrees, one hot body, one body image and almost two whole years of my life..
  9. Craving a hug from my number one. They have a way of making me feel safe and home and excited and loved all at the same time. Plus it’s been a rough week and I would really like some level of comfort beyond “something will come up eventually, keep applying.”
  10. Looking forward to the start of the Bulls’ off season in the wee hours of Monday, the Wildcats’ Ball next Saturday, the new X Men movie and Game of Thrones. And of course The Winds of Winter. But I have a feeling that the more people complain about it, the longer it will take to reach our Jon Snow deprived hands.

So that’s ten things about me, hopefully you don’t hate them!

Love,
Andrea

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How To Suffer

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How long is an appropriate amount of time to begin despising someone after they have suffered a tragedy? How self involved is it okay to be after suffering a loss?

Or more accurately, is it fair for someone to be such a see you next Tuesday to somebody who has done nothing wrong, just because they are going through a hard time? Is the somebody allowed to say “leave me alone, I am doing my best without any of my own support” or is that too harsh? 

I am literally living with a criminal, and yet I am the one who is treated like I just booted a puppy in the face while simultaneously punching a baby panda. 

I always knew living in my current situation would be tough, especially under the new circumstances and without certain people around, but I never expected it to be like this. I am so angry and sad and overwhelmed (and I have no clue where all this strength to just keep going has come from) but I don’t feel like I am allowed to feel that way because I am not the one who has suffered the biggest loss. So when I start feeling that way I almost feel selfish. 

I’ve been trying to put my own needs and wants over everything else, not because I am selfish but because I need to start looking after myself instead of trying to please everyone else, for my own good. But now I am torn between just succumbing to what She wants and is complaining about (because She’s suffered the biggest loss so I should defer to her and her feelings), and speaking my mind and saying “Hey, I am doing my best, I have not complained or picked a fight once even though you know how uncomfortable I am right now, I am actually struggling a lot but I haven’t said anything because you make living here unbearable which is really sad because I was actually a little excited to be able to ask your advice with school things and try be like Lorelai and Rory but now I don’t want to spend a second longer than is necessary in your company.”

But that seems like a really selfish thing to say to someone who is grieving. 

How much slack is a grieving person allowed to have before it stops being a coping mechanism and instead is just someone being a real female canine?

Struggling and sad,
Andrea

Salmon Fish Cakes

One of my goals for this year was to cook more. For someone who has a small (yet it still counts) modicum of independence, I do a surprisingly little amount of cooking. I have been more a fan of the quick re-heat, microwave or oven meals, which probably played a significant role in my current body situation.

I have always loved cooking, baking especially. For me there is just something about knowing I’m creating something out of nothing to share with people that just makes me feel good. Knowing that someone is going to enjoy something that I make is inspiring, and an instant pick-me-up. It’s one of the same reasons why I love to write. Even if just one person happens to read something I’ve written and if they like it, it resonates with them, makes them think, it’s one of the greatest feelings I’ve ever experienced! Continue reading Salmon Fish Cakes