Feeling a little lazy today, I had a big yet very fun day and I am absolutely exhausted. I was reading through a bunch of old emails and came across one of about a billion lists from Thought Catalog that more than any other recently, I found myself identifying strongly.
So here is a little insight into my life as a visually impaired individual. I first started wearing glasses for what my optometrist deemed “galloping” myopia (meaning extreme short-sightedness that degenerates quickly) when I was six. I started wearing contacts when I was about eight or nine, with my mum having to put them in my eyes for me for longer than I’m proud of. You know how people joke about this glasses being coke bottle glasses? That is accurate in my case. My eyesight is so bad, (-10.0 for anyone who is familiar) that I have to wear thick rimmed frames to contain my lenses, I was doing it way before it was hipster fashionable and it annoys me to no end when I see people wearing glasses for fashion and not function. It is so bad that my optometrist and I were joyful when I went a whole year with less than a -0.5 change. It is so bad that my optometrist has to send away to the eastern states to get my lenses specially made. It is so bad that I’m convinced that laser surgery would be ineffective, my eyes would still just get worse and worse. My eyesight is so bad, and still getting worse albeit at a slower rate (high school and the start of uni was probably my worst period for changes) that I’m also almost convinced that one day I’m going to wake up and not be able to see anymore, and it scares me that I treat that as more of an inevitability than a worst case scenario.
The proceeding list, from Though Catalog (because my re-blog is not working for some reason), outlines daily occurrences for me as a fabulous four eyes!
By ELLA CERON
1. A rainy day is pretty inconvenient for most people, but a few raindrops can leave you tormented and wishing that your glasses had windshield wipers.
2. Being around the ocean, or in a place with early morning mist, always leaves a fine bit of spittle on your lenses.
3. You have to plan your whole workout around contacts. Running with glasses takes a certain amount of finesse and/or crazy.
4. Yoga is nearly always out of the question.
5. Taking pictures in a proper camera is really difficult because the viewfinder might scratch your lenses.
6. Kissing with glasses on is bound to leave you crunching your glasses against your partner’s and your faces.
7. You have to take your glasses off to take a shower, and they often fog up in the bathroom steam while they wait for you to get so fresh and so clean.
8. Sex with glasses on often results in A, smudged lenses, and B, a really awkward O face.
9. Forgetting where you put them and panicking is enough to give you a mild heart attack.
10. Walking in somewhere warm from the cold makes your glasses fog up like no other.
11. That strange sense of vertigo you get from outside the rim of your glasses when you have to adjust to a new prescription.
12. Accidentally sleeping with them in your bed rather than putting them on your nightstand, and rolling over them in the middle of the night.
13. That weird slick feeling you get on the bridge of your nose over the course of the day and have to constantly wipe down.
14. Adorable lil’ whiteheads that pop up around where the frames of your glasses touch your face.
15. Your lenses are a great conductor for sunburn around your eyes.
16. That weird reflective glint that happens when somebody takes a flash photo of you. (Contacts, which often provide a vampire-happy red eye, aren’t much better.)
17. You inwardly feel a certain amount of conflict against the people who wear Google Glass.
18. Getting makeup smudged on your lenses when you accidentally push your lenses against your face.
19. That heart-dropping moment when a screw on your glasses goes loose or, worse, falls out entirely.
20. Feeling compelled to change your entire wardrobe to match your frames.
21. When somebody compares your looks to another person, that other person always has glasses—no matter how little they actually look like you.
22. Always wanting the latest frame designs but knowing you don’t have the money to spring for them as often as you would like.
23. Being automatically stereotyped as booksmart, a nerd, a dweeb, or anything along those lines.
24. Snapping your glasses in half and actually having to tape them together.
25. People will always ask you if they’re new.
26. Drinking something warm always fogs up your glasses.
27. The way people respond when you decide to mix it up and wear contacts. Oddly, it’s often more groundbreaking than changing your hair color.
28. When people ask to try them on.
29. When friends set you up on blind dates, they almost always suggest other people with glasses.
30. That weird itchy feeling behind your ears when you wear your glasses for too long.
31. Babies think glasses are the funniest toys, and will rip them off your face at the first possible chance.
32. The everlasting war between glasses and sunglasses when it’s sunny out.
33. Wearing hard headbands and glasses simultaneously because space behind your ears is valuable real estate.
34. Every time you want to put on a sweatshirt or other article of clothing with a small neck hole, you have to take your glasses off lest they block your head’s path to freedom.
35. When you try to take a selfie, and remove your glasses only to reveal that awful red mark on the bridge of your nose.
36. Pets, and dogs especially, always get spit and slobber over the lenses.
37. Your glasses become a part of your identity, and people will describe you with them much sooner than they will describe any other part of your personality.
38. When the leg of your glasses ruins an otherwise fa-law-less hairdo.
39. As much as you hate to admit it, Harry Potter and Liz Lemon will always be, on a small level, unsung heros in your life.
Wearing glasses is a defining part of who I am now, and though I do wear my contacts on occasion (less than I should, there was a few years when I wore them almost daily and my eyesight degeneration stagnated for a while) I always feel more comfortable wearing them. And while they do make some of my hopeful summer activities challenging, I always remember that I’m lucky enough to be able to have the opportunities and resources to deal with my short-sightedness. When I was in year seven, and my eyes were getting pretty bad, I decided to do an oral presentation project on Fred Hollows, known for his work in restoring eyesight to thousands of people in Australia, New Zealand and in countries and communities where they cannot afford it. I learned so much about him and his initiatives that have always stayed with me, and his foundation is one that I annually support. I am very thankful for my glasses and for the opportunities that I have, and while they do get irritating they are a part of who I am. I’ve gotten a little bit personal with the blog today (and cutting it fine with my daily goal too) but I was in a sharing and reflective mood, one that is fun to be in sometimes.
Hope your weekend is as great as mine has been!
- 39 Things That Only People With Glasses Understand (thoughtcatalog.com)